Answer the questions about the passage below. Choose the most appropriate answers based on what is stated or implied in the passage. Choose ONE answer unless other instructions are given. Blanks in the passage indicate missing information.
¶1Imagine you are standing on a train platform in a city you do not know, unable to read the signs. A kind stranger is probably within a few meters of you, yet many of us would rather (a) approach nobody than risk a refusal. Although the colleague who once asked us for directions, the neighbor who borrowed our ladder, and the stranger who needed to use our phone have all faded from memory, we can easily recall the day when we were too shy to ask for something small.
¶2Research across psychology has repeatedly shown that asking for help is good for us. People who ask for advice make better decisions, and those who feel able to rely on others report lower stress. As a result, we might expect people to (1) go out of their way to ask for help whenever they need it. In practice, however, most of us put up with problems for far longer than necessary.
¶3In a recent paper, we examined how often people avoid asking for help and why. In a series of studies involving more than 1,800 participants, we found that people are surprisingly (b) reluctant to ask, although there are ways of managing that feeling. We began by surveying 200 office workers about the previous month. A large majority (84 percent) named a task for which they would have liked help but had not asked anyone. When we asked whether they would ask a colleague now, they were neutral, and they were even less willing to do so in the following week. It is not that people dislike helping others; rather, they are hesitant to [ 1 ] a request in the first place.
¶4To explore this hesitation, we asked the same workers about the [ 2 ] of asking. They had many concerns, but they worried most that a request would be an (2) inconvenience for the colleague, and that they would look less capable as a result. In other words, people seemed to see asking as a burden on the helper. However, this worry is probably unnecessary: when we asked a separate group of 180 people to imagine being asked for help by a friend, most said they would feel glad to help and flattered to be trusted.
¶5To investigate further, we ran two experiments with more than 900 people to see whether we could encourage them to make a real request. This proved surprisingly hard, even though we made it as easy as possible. We recruited only people who had a task they truly wanted help with and who trusted a particular colleague. We gave them their colleague's contact details, and we allowed them a few minutes to write the request. Despite these supportive conditions, fewer than half of the participants sent it. Those who did send it reported feeling better right afterward than those who did not.
¶6We then tried to make the task easier in several other ways. We told some participants not to think too hard and simply to press “send.” We told others that most people enjoy helping, and asked them to imagine how pleased their colleague would feel. We tried to [ 3 ] the fear of looking incapable by suggesting that participants should not expect a perfect answer and should feel proud of having asked at all. Others were encouraged to (3) shrug off a refusal if it came, because it would say little about them.
¶7None of these ideas worked. Nothing we tried raised the number of people who made a request. However, we realized that people might also be misjudging the effort involved for the helper. So we asked 120 people to imagine needing various small favors, such as lending a pen, checking a page of writing, or giving directions, and to guess how much effort a helper would spend on each. We also asked another 120 people who had actually done these favors for others how much effort they had spent. The guesses were about twice as high as the real reports, and the favors seemed far more (4) daunting in the imagination than in practice.
¶8However, here is the good news. One of us had worked on a method known to ease the fear of approaching strangers, and we decided to adapt it to the case of asking for help. We asked some participants to complete a short warm-up in which they made a few small requests, such as asking a classmate what time it was. Others, our control group, simply looked at a map. Afterward, we asked everyone to make a real request to a colleague. About a third of the control group did so, in line with our earlier findings, but nearly half of the warm-up group did. We think that practicing small requests showed people how easy it is to ask and how kindly others respond. Helpers are often more (c) generous than we think. Asking can feel risky, and many of us expect to be judged. [ 4 ], a request often makes the helper feel trusted, and it may be easier to make after some practice.